Love Letters to Kim Jong Un #1

For our very first love letters, we’re going to be using the classic romantic gesture of the 2000’s: a mix CD. Very little is known about our particular romantic interest, but the heart wants what the heart wants…

Intro by Halter Whitman, Article by Eben Benson

ZZ-Top – Sharp Dressed Man – It’s no mystery that Kim Jong Un is a fashion icon. While many of his contemporaries settle for military garb and fancy haircuts, Un chooses a more progressive haircut, reminiscent of an American school shooter, to accompany his various fitted-suits and trenchcoats. ZZTop might not be Un’s biggest fan, but Un appreciates the finer things in life, like a clean presentation and an arsenal of ICBMs.

DK – Holiday in Cambodia – The Dead Kennedy’s hit single from their politically charged album Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables, was written as a jab at both Capitalism and the brutal “socialist” regime of Pol Pot in Cambodia. Kim, a spiritual successor to Pol Pot, would likely enjoy the DK jam as they satirize the American yuppie college kids, giving those students some rightful jabs at their privilege. He may even enjoy it so much that he doesn’t notice the marked similarities between his dictatorial similarities to the Cambodian mass-murderer.

Miley Cyrus – Party in the USA – When Kim Jong Un gets up on stage, the topic always harkens back to one thing; the hegemonic imperialism of the United States of America. He gets comfort, purpose, and probably some true happiness from bashing the the big dawg. Miley Cyrus’ 2008 smash hit single, although to us it may seem a celebration of American Capitalism, could just as easily serve as a promotional tool against it. Cyrus glamourizes, immortalizes, and generally praises Hollywood’s commodification of music, movies, and art, while Kimmy hears a story of the exploited proletariat’s suffering sold back to them as music about the joys of temporary fame. He may even bob his head if he can hear it over the screams of the suffering masses.

David Allan Coe – “Take This job and Shove It” – Capitalism got you down? Well, David Allan Coe knew what to do, turn to your boss, crack open a beer, and tell him to take the job and shove it up ‘is ass!! Even if he was a racist ol’ redneck, he wasn’t too far off from the socialism of our Dear Leader, a sentiment that likely wouldn’t have been lost on ol’ lonely Kim. Our hope is that listening to a proletarian tell the proprietor of his stolen labor to fuck off would get Kimbo pretty jazzed, hell, it gets me jazzed just writing about it.

Beach Boys – “Wasn’t Made For These Times” – Nowadays, there aren’t too many rogue states, especially ones with a military dictatorship. Ahhh, the good ol’ days, when 1 out of every 3 countries could claim socialism and get a megalomaniac autocrat to “modernize” them and pocket all the profits. I bet Kim Jong Un feels a little nostalgic sometimes, I mean, it must get lonely sometimes? Not many others to turn to anymore… so many ones lost… Gaddafi… Saddam Hussein… Pol Pot… I bet our dear friend feels a little sometimes, and maybe, he feels like he truly “Wasn’t made for these times.”

Kanye West – “POWER” – Kanye is a pretty powerful dude, I mean, probably the most talked about person in the US (Behind our own lil’ dictator,) part of the superduo “KimYe,” and likely the premier artistic genius of the 21st century (don’t fucking @ me,) so this song was a culmination of that. NOW, Kim Jong Un probably has a similar sentiment. Even if he isn’t the best, smartest, most beautiful, he gets to just command that respect and can fuckin’ vaporize anyone who disagrees? That’s definitely POWER, although not to everyone (see below)

(This is kind of a joke)

“Since violence—as distinct from power, force, or strength—always needs implements (as Engels pointed out long ago), the revolution in technology, a revolution in tool-making, was especially marked in warfare. The very substance of violent action is ruled by the question of means and ends, whose chief characteristic, if applied to human affairs, has always been that the end is in danger of being overwhelmed by the means, which it both justifies and needs.”––Hannah Arendt, Reflections on Violence, 1969.

Suicidal Tendencies – “Institutionalized” – Think you had issues with your dad? Imagine your dad was the dictator of a rogue state and sole director of a militarized police force?? Yeah, I think Kim Jong Un might have had it worse. Our hope is that he’ll take some solace in this anthem of unadulterated rage from Suicidal Tendencies’ debut album.

John Lennon – “Working Class Hero” – This one should be a little self explanatory, I mean, who but the Lifetime Chairman of the Worker’s Party of Korea would identify as a working class hero? Kim would love this one. It’s got gripes, it personifies the working class, and it glorifies the downtrodden. All that said, he probably wouldn’t want the rest of the North Koreans to hear this one… it being anti-authoritarian and all…

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